when it became clear that we weren't venturing any deeper into the wilderness, her thoughts turned toward home. And supper. Yielding to her impatience, I turned her head, and grabbed the pommel of the saddle. I knew what was coming next. As we drew closer to the stable, she picked up speed. She paced, then trotted, then, because I wasn't careful, galloped. Her bulk, and my skinniness, meant that I soon abandoned all pretense that I was in charge anymore. I gripped the pommel with both hands and prayed that I stayed in the saddle until we reached our destination.

These days, the memory of that ride, the desert, and Valentine is tinged, not with sadness or regret, but with thankfulness. The stable, the canal, the wilderness are gone, of course, bladed and buried under a row crop of houses. But the memory endures. And it's a good memory. I feel fortunate to have experienced that ride with Valentine, and many others as well, thankful to see and smell the desert as a youth before I became "educated" to the sins of manifest destiny, before the desert disappeared, before Progress went on and on. For a while, it was good – great even. I relentlessly explored the fine line between city and desert, nature and culture, fascinated by the influence of one on another, the slice of a canal across the land, the contrast of asphalt and desert pavement, a house on a hill, even a golf course set among the saguaros. It all told a story of expansion and exceptionalism, and our disregard for limits. But that knowledge came later. That day, on Valentine's back, all that mattered was wind.

And freedom.


Print Chapter 16
Sandia Crest, above Albuquerque, New Mexico
Paradise Lost